Murphy’s Laws of Bush Firefighting

purloined by John Robertson

 

  • If it’s a stupid idea but works, it isn’t stupid.
  • Remember you are not Tommy Gavin/ Superman.
  • Never work at a fire with someone who is braver than you.
  • Never work at a fire with someone who is crazier than you.
  • All fire fronts one hour away will arrive in 30 minutes.
  • Try to look unfit, they may be running out of people for the shit jobs
  • A flashover has the right of way.
  • The media will turn up just as your brilliant plan turns to shit.
  • When the SOC rings the fire is always under control.
  • When you have an area under control, don’t forget to tell the fire.
  • That unimportant fire you are ignoring is the main fire.
  • If you are short of everything except fire, things are going as per normal.
  • Never forget that your equipment was made by the lowest bidder.
  • If your efforts are going really great, you’re at the wrong fire.
  • Things that must work together usually aren’t on the same appliance.
  • The hose will have round thread and the branch will have storz.
  • Portable radio batteries will fail at the precise moment you need help.
  • If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
  • Anything you do will be wrong, including doing nothing.
  • If you put out more fire than you are asked to, you will be given more fire to put out.
  • You will always have more fire than you do water.
  • With a little organization, chaos can be assured.
  • If one item is hard to get, make sure you grab three.
  • The distance from a piece of equipment you need is directly proportional to the urgency with which you need it.
  • It is easier to receive forgiveness than permission.
  • When accused, admit nothing, deny everything, and make counter accusations.
  • Success forgives all sins.
  • You will run out of pump fuel just as the main front is approaching.
  • That firebreak you spent all night constructing is in the wrong place.
  • Any wind blows no good.
  • Your biggest save will have no witnesses.
  • Your biggest mistake will have hundreds of witnesses.
  • When you need to put in a quick back burn, nobody will have a match.
  • The person who contributed least to the firefighting effort will be the only one interviewed on the six o-clock news.
  • No matter how bad things get, it will look much worse on TV.
  • The area maps you have will be the wrong ones.
  • Reinforcements will arrive – as soon as the fire is contained.
  • No plan survives first contact with the fire
Posted in The Insider